Our Stories

There hasn’t been much discussion in LGBTIQ communities about domestic and family violence in our relationships. Therefore, the voices and stories of our people who have experienced it have rarely been heard.

It is hoped that this collection of personal stories, written by LGBTIQ people who have lived through abuse and violence, goes some way to building a picture of what abuse in our relationships looks like. If you have experienced abuse or used abuse and you are reading these stories it is hoped that hearing other people’s stories help you feel a little less alone.

In many ways these stories highlight some of the common experiences of living with abuse. In other ways they highlight the unique experiences of each of the authors.

This collection isn’t meant to represent the full range of experiences of abuse in LGBTIQ relationships. As every case of domestic and family violence is different it’s impossible for any collection to do this. But these stories can contribute to our understanding of this issue.

If you would like to submit your story for others to read, click here. We would love to hear from everyone, including people who have used abuse and also friends/family who have helped someone through an abusive relationship. We would especially like to hear from TGD people as we currently have no stories from this community.

We want to send our biggest heartfelt thanks to all of the authors for bravely contributing  their story. 

Send Us Your Story

Thank you for offering to contribute your experiences to this collection of stories. We understand that it may be difficult to write about your experiences of abuse. By adding your story to this collection you will be helping to increase our understanding of domestic violence in LGBTIQ relationships and hopefully making it easier for others going through a similar experience.

What we use these stories for:

  • To help in developing our community awareness campaign
  • As a resource for domestic violence and health workers, counsellors and others who work in the area of domestic and family violence
  • As a resource for LGBTIQ communities to help build understanding of the issue and to help those people experiencing abuse to see it in their own relationships and offer them hope
  • To provide real experiences to the media when they write about DFV.

What you might include:
Here is a list of questions that you can use as a guide when writing your story. You don’t need to answer all of them.

  • What was the relationships? How, where, when did you meet?
  • What was the relationship like in the beginning?
  • When, how and/or why did the abuse begin to show itself or when did you become aware that this was an abusive relationship?
  • What were some specific examples of the abuse?
  • How did the abuse affect you while it was happening?
  • In what ways did you cope with the abuse? What supports did you have?
  • Did you use any support services? What was your experience of these services?
  • Was there a turning point in how you experienced the abuse? How did the violence end? Remember violence isn’t always physical.
  • Has the abuse left a lasting impact on you? If so how? How do you feel now?

Other Information:

  • We ask you to change the names and details that may identify anyone in the story.
  • To be able to produce as many stories as we can we’d encourage you to use a 1,000-word limit as a guide.
  • We reserve the right to edit the story for consistency, language, identifying details, grammar and length. We won’t alter the meaning of your story.
  • We will show you any changes we make to the story.
  • You have the right to withdraw your story at any time or to change any part of the story.

To submit your story, please send us an email with your story attached.  We will email a release form for you to sign and return before publishing your story on this site.