Transfemme is a website designed to promote healthier relationships between trans women and cisgender men. This website has been created by the Zoe Belle Gender Collective in collaboration with a collective of Victorian based trans women and cis men who have experience in dating or are in relationships with trans women. The content is based on the collective’s own lived experiences and is drawn from 30 confidential interviews conducted in mid 2021.
The resource contains content that may be considered sensitive including sex, objectification and fetishisation and body dysphoria. Please access our referral section if any of the content causes distress or if you would like further support.
From the authors
Transfemme is a space to celebrate and give visibility to our relationships, as well as recognise the barriers and unique challenges they may face. We centre the stories and experiences of trans women who are disproportionately impacted by negative societal attitudes, transphobia and trans misogyny. We affirm that trans women deserve love and respect in their relationships.
Our target audience is cisgender men who may identify as straight, heteroflexible, within the bi plus community or use no labels at all. We acknowledge that men who identify as transgender, gay or homosexual may also have relationships or hook-up with transgender women. This resource was formed out of community consultation conducted with trans women and cisgender men.
It was created to address the need for resources aimed at straight or bi+ cisgender men who are attracted to transgender women, celebrating their relationships whilst also addressing societal stigma and shame which are drivers of violence towards trans women. However, any other audiences who can gain insight into how to be respectful partners to trans women and prevent transphobic violence and discrimination are more than welcome to access it.
We would like to acknowledge all the trans women and cisgender men who were interviewed and contributed to the development of this website. The content reflects a range of experiences and perspectives, but we recognise it is not exhaustive. The quotes are reflective of individual people’s experiences, beliefs and cultures. There was a diversity of opinion as well as common and overlapping experiences.
“Trans women” in this project refers to trans women, trans feminine people, women who may have a trans and gender diverse history or experience but do not identify as transgender and other trans feminine culturally-specific identities such as Sistergirls, Fa’afafine and Kinner.
We have deliberately chosen to simplify the language we use in this resource, in particular in the men’s section, to support its accessibility to cisgender men. We recognise that many cisgender men, who are wanting to learn how to be more respectful towards trans women or access supports, may not have a high level of knowledge of trans and gender diverse culture and language.
The Transfemme project is a small project with limitations to our funding and scope. There are many intersectional experiences we were not able to capture or report on without funding for adequate community consultation. One of the recommendations in our final report acknowledges where there will need to be further consultation.
We interviewed people aged between 23-59 mainly within metropolitan Melbourne, with a diverse range of cultural backgrounds and religious beliefs. Interviewees included First Nations people, settlers, migrants, international students and refugee and asylum seekers. We have used pseudonyms to protect the identities of individual participants.