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Sexual Violence and Anonymous Sex

Sex on Premises Venues (SOPVS) and Beats are two examples of spaces some in our communities access or visit for anonymous sex. Just click the pictures below to read more about them, and some of the unique ways consent is established in these spaces. Then check back here to read our tips for recognising and responding to sexual violence in SOPVs and Beats.

  • How to check in around consent and model good norms

    • Looking for clear and unambiguous visual or verbal cues before you initiate physical touch. This could be reciprocal suggestive eye contact or as simple as saying ‘hi’. If their response is dismissive or they look away, you should give up here.   
    • If you’ve passed this first stage, found your spot (whether it be a cubicle, in the bushes, etc), asking whether they open to what you want to do / get their guidance on what they want. ‘Do you wanna…?’ or ‘Can I do…?’ or ‘Tell me what you want’ is a pretty good starting point and can be pretty hot.  
    • Checking and asking, ‘is this okay?’ or ‘do you like this?’ as a way of figuring out what you’re both comfortable with.  
    • If their body becomes rigid or tense, they’re unlikely to be okay and you should stop. A good time should be for both of you.  Letting them know that you can stop at any time. Consent can change. Maybe something hurts, maybe something else is going on. Consent isn’t just an agreement at the beginning of hook up. Being aware of whether they’re relaxed and into it and making them feel comfortable to say what they want, is super important and super hot. 
  • How to recognise sexual violence

    Because sex on premises venues and beats are sexual by nature, there can be a higher likelihood of witnessing sexual violence. It’s important to be informed about how to identify and respond to sexual violence.  

    If you hear someone in excessive pain, someone saying no, or crying or visibly upset, they may be being sexually assaulted. If you are there with someone you know, they may start acting differently such as being visibly upset, wanting to unexpectedly leave, increasing their use of alcohol and/or drugs, or being frightened about people’s touch. You can ask them if they are okay, and if they disclose sexual harassment or abuse, it is important to act compassionately and help them get the support they need (see our recognise, respond and recover sections for more details).  

    You cannot consent to sex whilst asleep or out of it. If a person is wasted (i.e., have used alcohol or drugs to excess, or are asleep or unconscious, they don’t really know what is happening) this is sexual assault.  Whilst sex on premises venues are attended by staff that will address these issues, if you see someone in this situation you may want to use the approaches listed below or seek a staff member (if you feel safe to do so). 

  • How to respond to sexual violence?

    If you are uncomfortable or worried about the way that someone is acting at a sex on premises venue, approaching a staff member is always an option. They can remove the person from the venue.    

    If you think you may be witnessing someone being sexually assaulted or you are concerned someone may be about to assault someone, there are a number of things you can do: 

    Assess the situation:
    Are you safe? Are there other people around who can support you? Could intervening make the situation worse?

    For SOPVs- Talk to the staff:  
    The staff of sex on premises venues will know what to do. They will make sure the person is safe and may be able to identify the abuser.

    Ask directly:
    If you can see someone receiving advances and they are uncomfortable, you could say hello and ask them directly to prevent an assault occurring (e.g., “hey, just wanted to check everything is good”). If you can speak to them away from the abuser, ask them if they are okay. If the person is intoxicated or in a position where they can’t give consent, stay with them and help them seek support.  

    Support the person who has been sexually assaulted:  
    There is not one way for a person to respond when they have been sexually assaulted. You can help them feel as safe as they can and provide options about what they can do next.

    In a public space like a beat, there will not be the same access to staff, and this may present a higher risk to you. You may be able to create a distraction (like banging on a cubicle or making a loud noise or using an emergency beacon on your phone) which might stop the sexual assault. If safe, try your hardest to document the incident (like remembering the features of the abuser or taking a photo if safe). In an emergency you can contact the police at 000. If you go to or call a police station (in NSW) to report a crime you can ask to speak to a LGBTIQ+ liaison officer. 

For more in-depth information around recognising, responding, and recovering from supporting someone after experiencing sexual violence please see the Recognise, Respond and Recover sections of this toolkit.

If reading this content has caused you distress, or made you think you may need support, you can find an LGBTQ+ affirming service here. 

Click here to go back to the home page of this toolkit.

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