World Pride is coming up and it’s time to celebrate! We’re a sexy bunch honestly, so obviously, for lots of us, sex is on the agenda.
Remember to ASK WITH LOVE this Pride season.
Consent means a mutual agreement between two or more people to do something together (like sex) and that agreement is communicated by words or actions.
Consent means that you and everyone else involved in an activity (i.e., sex) want to be doing what they’re doing.
Consent means that an act or action is expected, wanted, enjoyed and able to be stopped at any point without worry.
Consent is important and necessary not just because it allows us to know about our own wants, needs and boundaries but also to be able to communicate these to other people.
Remember when you want to touch, kiss or engage in any sexual activities with people you should ASK WITH LOVE.
But HOW do we ask with love? The particulars are different for everyone, but here are some cues:
Verbal consent means they’re giving indications of what they like, this can look like:
“Can you touch me here?”
“Oh, I like that!”
It also means checking in throughout and keeping the communication going, which can look like:
“do you wanna try…?”
“does that feel good?”
“is this okay?”
working it into dirty talk: “I wanna… Would you like that?”
“how does it feel when I…?
Non-verbal consent can look like:
- They’re leaning into you
- They’re making noises of pleasure such as moaning
- They’re initiating
- They’re kissing you back
- They are in the moment and fully present
It’s important to know that the consent law in NSW are based on the concept of affirmative consent, which means that if you want to have sex with someone, then you must do or say something to find out they want to have sex with you too. You can find out more about consent laws in NSW here.
You can learn about preventing sexual violence, and how to support a friend who may have experienced sexual violence here.
There are services and support for people who have experienced sexual violence, and their supporters. You can find our service finder here.
Support services include:
- Rainbow Sexual, Domestic and Family Violence Helpline: 1800 497 212. For anyone from the LGBTIQ+ community whose life has been impacted by sexual domestic and/or family violence. Available 24/7.
- 1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732. Support people impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence and abuse. Available 24/7.
- ACON (9206 2000), Monday to Friday (9am – 6pm)
- QLife (1800 184 527), 3pm – Midnight every day
- 13YARN (13 92 76), 24/7 support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people
In NSW, there are also Sexual Assault Services (SAS) within every local health district. SAS’s provide a 24/7 acute crisis response support to anybody who has been sexually assaulted within the last 7 days. This service is FREE regardless of your visa or Medicare status. For more information on SAS’s, and to find the closest Sexual Assault Service to you, click here.
Remember, you do not need to report to Police in order to access any of these support services. If you do not want to report to a police officer, but you want the police to know you have experienced sexual assault, you can complete the online Sexual Assault Reporting Option (SARO). You can choose to stay anonymous if you utilise this option.
In an emergency, you can contact Triple Zero (000). To find out more about reporting options with the Police, as well as the investigation process, you can visit their Sexual Assault Services page.
Want to see the full WithLove campaign? Click here.
Say It Out Loud is our website to promote and celebrate healthy LGBTQ+ relationships. We also have a strong focus on consent information and sexual violence resources. We provide information about what unhealthy or unsafe relationships can look like, and how to seek help for experiences of violence, how to support loved ones and advice and resources for professionals who work with LGBTQ+ people.
Give us a follow on Instagram @sayitoutloud.acon for health promotion on these topics.